Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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