i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
