i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
