my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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