don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I should be sponsored by Trojan
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize