i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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