i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
you would pick up someone in the library
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
