Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
