Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
