vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
