i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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