im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
