I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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