I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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