so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
