at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
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