omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
