So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Two words: blizzard sex
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
