Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Randomize
