I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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