I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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