I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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