8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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