dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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