Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
