remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
