stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
