Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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