She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
