I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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