imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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