I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
