so explain again why im purple
no
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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