guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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