Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
My liver just had a heart attack.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Drake has all the answers
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
