no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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