I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
