Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
