apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
