That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
