The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
