There is no way he is gay with that hair.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
