This is not my ceiling
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
