I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
