Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
