Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
