I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
This toilet bowl is my home.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
