what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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