I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
