and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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