i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
