Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
