can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
