oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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