that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
