that's an acceptable place to lick
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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